Camping this weekend.

We went up to the lake this weekend to camp. It was a great time with the family and the weather was beautiful. Madeline fell yesterday though and that turned things around a bit for me though. She fell off her bike and didn't seem too hurt, but she was crying hard. Her crying hard turned into only wanting to cuddle on my lap and then she just wanted to sleep. That was extremely odd for her. We were there with her best buds/cousins and not wanting to play was not like her at all. She was also complaining that she couldn't see. We determined that she could see, just not real well. We assumed at that point that she had a concussion. That was further confirmed when she started throwing up. We took her to the ER and long story short, she did have a concussion, but a CAT scan confirmed there were no bleeds/fractures. I have never in my life seen Madeline like she was yesterday. She was dead asleep, even through the CAT scan. She ended up throwing up a total of 5 times and slept most of the afternoon into the evening. She did end up perking up later last night around the campfire which was good to see. Today she is acting much better.

To our surprise, the CAT scan revealed a secondary finding. Apparently Madeline has a cyst in the right ventricle of her brain. Very scary sounding. The ER doctor says they see this occasionally and they feel it is nothing to worry about, but they want her to do a repeat CAT scan in 6 months to see if it has grown. To be honest, I am just trying not to think about it. It scares me.

For some reason this fall and ER trip affected me more than maybe it should have. Our children are just so precious to us, but Ryan reminded me in the ER that our children are not "our" children, they are God's. I know this, really I do, but to be honest, I think I need to daily give my kids back to God. I know they are his, but I think I pull them so close sometimes that I like to think I am in control. I cannot fathom loosing one of them. God willing I will never have to worry about that.

Julie